Thursday, July 11, 2013

Thoughts from a preggo | Is there A Such Thing As A Mean Blogger

Is there such a thing as a mean blogger?? 

Since I like to keep my blog PG/PG-13, I will refrain from using other language to actually describe how I feel these individuals I may come across. As I was browsing through new blogs last night, deciding who I wanted to follow, I came across a very colorful blogger. I honestly do not remember the blog URL, and even if I did I would not put them on blast or link to them. I initially found this person’s blog through another bloggers link up party page. I clicked on the button and found myself at a “This page doesn’t exist” page. I was a little confused, since this rarely happens, so I decided to visit the rest of the blog. As I scrolled through the homepage, I came across a post that basically talked about why this particular blogger did not swap buttons or do link parties and such anymore. Now, I respect everyone’s decisions in regards to what they choose to do or not do with their blog. Personally, I think swapping buttons and link parties are a great way to network and connect in the blogging community, although not the only way. The thing that got me was not the subject matter of the post, but the coarse and rude language used throughout the post. I believe in not sugar-coating, trust me I’m a Marine, so nothing in my life gets sugar coated on a daily or regular basis. I like the facts straight and direct. However, this person seems agitated by some of the trends in the current blogging community, they seemed quite frankly p*ssed. This blogger went on to say that they would no longer swap buttons, because all they want is money from blogging, specifically your money. Additionally, that if you are going to advertise for her on your blog then she should be paying you, which she is not in the business of doing. This blogger trashed link parties saying that the number of link parties out there is ridiculous and why follow a blog if all their blogging consists of is link parties every day. Now, I’m the first to say that I love link parties. I think they are fun, and they are also very new to me. Back when I started beauty and fashion blogging, over 5 years ago there was no such device to use to link several related posts or blogs. I do have to admit that I participate in many, but not solely to put my posts out there, but to mainly find new blogs and material to read.

As a blogger, you mainly focus on your blog. Well, we all know you have to give to receive and pay it forward. I have found so many good blogs through link parties, guest posts, and Pinterest and I’m glad I have. Back in the day there were all these “blogger community websites” like Ning that bloggers would sign up on. I’m pretty sure they are still around, but I’m not trying to be a part of hundreds of these communities, because I loathe having to create yet another username and password for another site. I already have too many! On to the subject of money, I was really taken aback by this bloggers overly direct way of making it as if everyone in the blogging community does it for money or that’s the only thing they really care about. Its no secret, many make money blogging, just the same as many don’t. New Mama Diaries is a very new blog barely two months old, so I have not and do not expect to make a month’s salary from it at this time. That is not my focus for this blog.

New Mama Diaries is an outlet for me to be able to express who I am and chronicle this point in my life. That is not to say that I would turn down an opportunity to be sponsored. Blogging is like a part-time job, I spend at least 4 hours + it every day, and that doesn’t count the numerous times throughout the day that I’m thinking of new topics to post on. I can definitely understand why many use blogging as an opportunity to draw income, but I have a hard time believing that the bulk of the community does it solely for the money. I’m pretty selective when it comes down to the blogs I follow. I only follow blogs that I feel I can relate to. I look at everything from the posts content, to the layout, and of course the actual blogger. If I don’t immediately get the warm and fuzzies, I simply don’t follow or link up. I also follow every single blog that I choose to link up on. It’s a way of paying it forward and for me to keep track of who I link up with. I don’t mind someone grabbing my button and wanting to feature me on their site, that’s why the button is there. What I would have a problem with is a blog that I do not support, meaning if the blog contains inappropriate content or a cause that I don’t support, having my button or being to linked to my blog in some way.

Nonetheless, the point I’m making is not to down other bloggers for the methods and techniques they use to acquire more readership and followers, which is what I felt this particular blogger did. In addition to the rude language they used, I realized that this person’s blog was overall offensive and I would never follow a blogger who posted such derogatory posts under the cover of “not sugar coating” or “being real”. You can be real, honest, and not sugar coat and still do it respectfully. So despite the fact that this blogger may have some good content on their site, the overall feel of the blog is negative and cynical. Almost like a “mean girl”. Actually you know what that’s exactly what it felt like reading through the post. Another thing that bothered me was the fact that this blogger had managed to influence other bloggers to follow suite. In the comments I read that one blogger had already contacted another blog asking to be removed from their blogroll. Why would you just now be asking to be removed or even agree to link up or be on someone’s blogroll if you didn’t feel comfortable or like them in the first place? I do not maintain a blogroll, because number 1) they are too much maintenance. It’s already enough to maintain a link party page, every other button, badge, and html coded thing on my blog, post, and make sure the formatting for everything looks neat and clean, which is always a work in progress 2) if I want to link up or display someone’s blog, I’d rather post a button 3) I don’t feel the need to express to every single one of my followers/readers every single blog I read 4) I would not want to make anyone feel left out or like it’s a popularity contest to be featured on my blogroll.  This particular blogger made it as if it was a privilege to be featured on their blogroll, since they no longer did link parties or button swaps. To me that shows me that they are not willing to give back or pay it forward. I tried to be as objective as possible in reading the post and could see on some levels where the blogger was coming from, and again this was not the issue.

The issue was the lack of regard for other bloggers and readers who might use link parties regularly, do button swaps, and generally enjoy blogging just to blog, not solely to make money. I think any blog that comes across as only being in the business of making money is off-putting. No one wants to feel as if they’re being scammed or targeted to buy or support something when visiting a blog or website. And yes, I do understand the nature of this free enterprise, ingenuous country (the USA) that I live it. Its capitalism at its best, but are there no values or goodness anymore?

What do you think? What is your taking on the blogging community that you’re a part of? What would you do if you came across a rude or insulting post on a blog?

Happy bumping!

xxoo,

Tenns

16 comments :

  1. Just stopping by to say thanks for the follow on Bloglovin'! I'm happy to be following you back :o) Hope you have a wonderful Thursday.

    - croppedstories@gmail.com
    http://www.croppedstories.blogspot.com

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  2. I can't stand mean bloggers! There are so many who get on their high horse and ... yah, they suck. Blogging should be fun and not intimidating.

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    1. I couldn't agree with you more! You are absolutely right, blogging should be fun and not intimidating, which is one of the main reasons I love blogging.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

      ~Tenns

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  3. Hi! Following your link from Cropped Stories blog hop.

    Maybe ex-blog hoppers are like some ex-smokers or ex-fat people (didn't know how else to phrase it):) But seems like when someone stops doing something they consider bad or wrong, they judge others more harshly who are still doing it.

    I love blog hops. To me it's like walking into a party and talking to people you think might be interesting. If you like them you'll hang around for a little bit. If you don't, you'll move on to someone else.

    So far I found I find a lot of people interesting and would love to hang out with them. :)

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    1. Thanks so much for following New Mama Diaries!

      I completely agree with you about these people judging other harshly just because they stop doing it. I think they should respect others' decisions to do what they wish with their blog, even if they don't agree.

      I love blog hops and link parties too, and like you I've found some great blogs to follow. And like you said, if I like them I'll continue to follow and if not I don't...just that simple. :-)

      I too have come across some pretty awesome people, who if I'd never done that link party or blog hop, wouldn't have found them.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

      ~Tenns

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  4. link-ups and swaps might not be every blogger's thing, but it was silly of her to get so enraged and use crude language to express her hatred of a linkup. blogging shouldn't be that serious, it really should start off as a hobby. a lot of bloggers aren't at that high caliber where it runs mainly as a business, so getting that mad about other bloggers simply doing their thing is crazy!

    xx, alicia
    river city chic

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    1. I agree with you and completed respected the fact that she was no longer interested in doing the link parties and swaps. It just seemed like the rude and coarse language was the overall tone of her blog. Your so right, blogging really shouldn't be that serious and it is crazy down down others, just because you don't do something yourself.

      People never cease to amaze me!

      Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting!

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  5. Blogging should be fun. Can't stand mean people. I don't mind constructive criticism comments or comments that disagree with me, but don't be mean about it. Link parties can be overwhelming if you do a lot of them (which is why I stick with what I've got) but I don't think anyone should be "blasting" them. They are a great way to meet new people! Happy to connect with you from our Favorite Posts link party which I am co-hosting!

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    1. Michelle I can't stand mean either either, but who I really can't stand are rude people who have no regard for others. I'm all for freedom of speech, but respect should always be at the forefront.

      I agree with you about link parties becoming overwhelming at times. I have occasionally been overwhelmed by them myself, but at the end of the day they really do serve as a great way to connect to others.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Would love to link up at your party!

      Tenns

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  6. Hi Tennsley,
    It's like we were taught as children, "If you don't have something nice to say, then say nothing at all." Unfortunately not everyone follows this rule and that's sad.

    Sometimes it makes me sick to see or read how mean people can be.

    I think the best thing we can do is to ignore them and not assist them in spreading their "mean" words and increase their popularity.

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    1. Darlene, I think you are absolutely right in not assisting in spreading the "mean"word. I strongly believe in the mantra of if you don't have anything nice to say then why say it at all.

      Like I always say, people never cease to amaze you!

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.

      Tenns

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  7. It is sad but true that some people feel that being negative and rude will bring attention to them or what they say will be perceived as more important when they use strong language. When really the opposite happens.
    I agree with Darlene that ignoring them is the best way to go. I have also seen blogs were commentors have been rude for no good reason. It has never happened to me (thank goodness) but it is hard to understand.
    Thanks for the post, I am just stopping by from The Wondering Brain Link Party. I would love to have you visit! scrumptilicious4you@blogspot.com

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    1. I completely believe that some people's motives are to draw attention by being negative and rude, and of course there will always be those that follow their lead. And your right, when your a positive person, it is difficult to understand why someone would be such a way.

      Thanks so much for stopping by! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts!

      I'll definitely drop by your blog and pay a visit.

      Tenns

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  8. Sometimes it is so hard to deal with the negative things people say and do, I even try to give some understanding as to why they are the way they are...And believe me, I have done lots of trying. My dear darling hubby and sweet oldest son are both like that. No matter how hard I try to stay positive and count the blessings that I have been given, it is hard sometimes and I fail sometimes.

    There was a blogger that I used to follow, but the posts became to much for me to read. At 40, I have enough drama, with three teenagers at home! LOL! One of the bloggers complaints was lack of comments and response to the posts, but in my opinion not only was the target audience off, parents and moms, but that isn't what the bloggers site contained. Because of that there was no understanding of parents are busy, mommies are busy...what time we do have we want to enjoy with funny stories or recipes to feed our lil monkey's. Not negativity and hatefulness.

    Don't get me wrong I have no problem with reading about a parent vent, or a life issue that someone is dealing with and always willing to add my thoughts. But hatefulness and negative rants are not what I want to read.

    As for making money, well of course, that is what we all hope for. Most of us are parents, and we want nothing more than to provide for our families. But it also has so many points, that it just makes sense to monetize at least to a small degree...who does it hurt? But as much as I might want to make money, I also love the friends...from everywhere!

    Well anyway those are my thoughts! Have an awesome weekend! Stopping in from the Show Off Weekend Blog Hop as one of the co-hosts!

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    1. Great thoughts and so insightful! In my daily life, I am fortunate to not encounter too many negative and when I do I make sure I remove myself from there presence promptly. Being in the Marine Corps, I've developed a rather thick skin, but as a wife and soon-to-be mother I'm a little bit softer. I think my mindset when I'm blogging is in such a different place from when I'm at work, that's my defenses are down. I guess its really easy to see the blogging world as a more virtual, un-real place, so I don't always expect some of the same things to happen in it as I do in the 'real world'. Its that make-believe happy place that I go to, so when I come across something that's not "happy", I do have to admit that I find it silly and takes me abake a little.

      I enjoy making friends from all over and love the fact that I can reach out to pretty much anyone anywhere in the world. That's one of my fave parts about blogging, and what really keeps me doing it.

      Thanks so much for stopping by and I look forward to linking up again next week!

      ~Tenns

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xxoo,

Tenns

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Full-time Marine, wife, jewelry designer, and blogger. Creating is what I love and its what I do.